La vita è bella.

.. This is goodbye.

2010-02-12T14:18:00.004-06:00

Well, I have had a long run on Blogger. I am once again switching blog sites. I am so thankful for this blog because it has truly been an outlet for me through the good and the bad. I also have met some pretty wonderful people through blogging. I hope to continue on doing so with my other blog, which is now:

New Blog

Love.

Alexander McQueen

2010-02-11T14:06:00.002-06:00

We have truly lost one of the most influential and amazing artist of our time.

May his soul rest in peace.

2010-02-09T11:47:00.002-06:00

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken - and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.”

- Margaret Mitchell

2010-02-08T17:43:00.002-06:00

'Be still, and know that I am God.'
- Psalm 46:10

- I experienced something different today. It was difficult for a few minutes.. before, during and after. When I came back home, I decided to try to not think about what I had just spoke of.. but of course, I did. Instead of staying inside of this beautiful apartment that sometimes feels like a cave, I went outside to just sit and get all of my messy thoughts in order. I wasn't exactly sad or upset, but I was a bit emotional, which was understandable at this moment. I turned my head towards the sky, and it was completely silent right then. I just stared up at the sky, and this verse came to me. This is one of my favorites, and when I thought of it today.. with complete silence surrounding me and looking at the sky, it was perfection. I felt a weight taken off of my chest. -

2010-02-08T14:59:00.000-06:00

Jenny: Why are you so good to me?

Forrest: You’re my girl.

Jenny: I’ll always be your girl.

2010-02-07T18:05:00.001-06:00

I sometimes think I live in a dreamworld but then reality hits. I like to pretend. I like my mind to race. I like the feeling of trying to breath instead of breathing coming easy. My chest gets heavy and tight, at times.. but that's life. I like to feel. One day, it will all be gone. I want to feel it all before my time comes to an end. Even if it hurts.

2010-02-06T17:21:00.001-06:00

“A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.”

— Frances Ward Weller

2010-02-03T18:26:00.001-06:00

Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.

This is so strange. Right after I posted the entry about my dog, I came across this video on another blog. I cried the whole time. So heartbreaking but amazing.

2010-02-03T15:49:00.004-06:00

Photo via 1773

I saw this photo today, and it made me miss my Auggie so much. As lame as this may sound, I remember when I used to cry or get upset.. he would know. No kidding. I would go upstairs to my room and all of a sudden I would hear a little whimpering and sniffing under my door. I would open the door, and he would pop up, this little fat precious puppy. He would just look at me, then run and jump on my bed, sit with me and look at me until I was better. Sounds so stupid, I know.. but it actually meant everything to me. I would talk to him and pretend he was listening (he really was) and then I would fall asleep with him snoring right next to me. I remember a time in my life that was very difficult. I was the only child living at home, and I had to be strong for others. I had good friends, but I still felt completely alone in my struggle and pain. I depended on Auggie. He made me forget things when I looked at him, or when he would fall over or get excited to see me. But he also brought me comfort during the long nights when I couldn't sleep because all that was on my mind was losing someone I love so dearly. Auggie would stay right next to me. He wouldn't wake up until I woke up. He knew something was wrong, and he wasn't going to let me get down.

It is amazing what God creates. And it is so incredible to think of what/who our hearts love and the reasons why.. a puppy has meant more to me in my life than most people. I will always carry him in my heart.

Meet my friend Donald and weird voices/faces..

2010-02-02T16:11:00.002-06:00

2010-02-02T14:43:00.000-06:00

Lovely.

2010-01-31T16:01:00.000-06:00

"Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality."
- Emily Dickinson

My body is sore and aches, but I am happy.

I like the boys that can dance..

2010-01-29T16:56:00.001-06:00

So good. Drew and I are starting Hip Hop classes next week. I'm so excited. asdfhalsdfs!

Drake Remix

2010-01-28T18:27:00.001-06:00

So my dear friend, Aaron, knows my obsession with Drake. He sent me this remix of "Forever" today.
So so good. Listen and enjoy.
PS. There may be words that might offend you. Just FYI

2010-01-27T17:48:00.001-06:00

I miss her.

Finally back to Nashville..

2010-01-26T16:54:00.007-06:00

Park City, Utah

2010-01-22T16:42:00.000-06:00

I am currently in Park City for the Sundance Film Festival. I cannot describe how beautiful these lands are.

2010-01-19T12:48:00.000-06:00

Okay, so maybe I don't agree with Chris Brown's actions.. but I still love this voice.. and those dance moves.
Yes, please. So good.

Great Line..

2010-01-18T21:49:00.002-06:00

"I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got no wings. Coming down is the hardest thing."
-Tom Petty

Life Lately..

2010-01-18T17:50:00.003-06:00

2010-01-18T13:20:00.001-06:00

Say, my love, I came to you with best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what I'm seeking
Love, you drive me to distraction
Hey my love do you believe that we might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this,
Our flesh and blood
It ties you and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
These things we cannot change

Hey, my love, you came to me like wine comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and you quench my mind

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but
Sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
The things we cannot
Celebrate, you and me, climbing two by two, to be sure
These days continue, things we cannot change

2010-01-17T15:35:00.000-06:00

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

— Washington Irving

2010-01-14T16:21:00.001-06:00

Two years ago and last year, I would have dreaded this month. It is amazing what time, support from loved ones, and faith can do in your life when you need them the most. Also, it is quite incredible what obstacles we go through in our lives as humans. I have never believed in the power of praying as much as I do right now. I still do not look forward to this month because it brings back so many memories that are not that easy to think about, but those memories are with me throughout the other eleven months, as well. Although these memories are not exactly the best, I hold them close to my heart. Life is a learning process, a journey, and not easy.. to say the least. It is not supposed to be. Just imagine a life that was easy, no problems, no heartache, no loss.. What would life be without such things? It took a very long time, but the most difficult situations in my life have brought me to a peaceful place. They make you re-think everything from your actions, your emotions, your mission, and your place here on Earth. We cannot go back and start over in our life, but we can start to write a new ending when we are ready. I am so grateful for the support I have from my family because they, unknowingly, caused me to turn my head back on straight and re-write my ending. They will never be able to understand the love I possess for each and every one of them, as well as my gratitude. God has given me all I need in my life.

I’m an emotional person, and I understand that fact.. but I try my hardest now not to feed off of my sorrow. Instead, I try to think of the positive side of such situations. Now you may wonder how I can think there is a positive side to someone passing away.. Well for me, once I looked past the sadness, regrets, and blame.. I found a strange happiness that I thought would never come. That does not mean that thinking of the loss of someone I love is not difficult, trust me. It has made my life much more complicated on a mental level, but my faith has grown strong and my heart still holds places for the ones who mean most, even if they are not physically here with me, and that will never change. I think sometimes we believe holding on is what makes us the “strong” one, I believe it’s letting go.. but not forgetting.

I still have those days where I feel sad or confused or just simply mad, but something picks me right back up and tells me to go on with a smile, for I am blessed.

"There may be troubled waters along the many paths my life shall take, but only I as a man, may keep my vessel afloat, and guide myself straight."

-Robert M. Hensel

I miss my baby.

2010-01-14T14:45:00.000-06:00

2010-01-13T23:42:00.000-06:00

I want to go to Magnolia Mountain
And lay my weary head down
Down on the rocks
On the mountain my savior made
Steady my soul and ease my worry
Hold me when I rattle like a hummingbird hummin'
Tie me to the rocks on the mountain my savior made

Lie to me
Sing me a song
Sing me a song until the morning comes
If the morning comes, will you lie to me
Will you take me to your bed
Will you lay me down
Till I'm heavy like the rocks on the riverbed
That my savior made

I want to be the bluebird singing
Singing to the roses in her yard
The roses in her yard her father grew for her
It's been raining that Tennessee honey
So long I got too heavy to fly
Ain't no bluebird ever gets too heavy to sing

Lie to me
Sing me a song
Sing me a song until the morning comes
And if the morning don't come, will you lie to me
Will you take me to your bed
Will you lay me down
Till I'm heavy like the rocks in the riverbed
That my savior made

We burned the cotton fields down in the valley
And ended up with nothing but scars
The scars became the lessons that we gave to our children after the war
But there ain't nothing but the truth up on the Magnolia Mountain
Where nobody ever dies
Steady your soul and ease your worry
They got a room for you

- Ryan Adams

2010-01-13T18:37:00.001-06:00

“So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love — loving the loving of things whose existence she didn’t care at all about. Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. It was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist.”
- Everything is Illuminated; Jonathan Safran Foer

Life Lately..

2010-01-09T15:06:00.006-06:00

2010-01-08T15:30:00.002-06:00

I may be repeating myself, but I do not really care. Like I said in the entry before these past couple of weeks have been a learning and eye opening experience for me. Well, during these two weeks, I have come in contact with certain pieces of work that have only made this experience much more euphoric. So what are some of these pieces? Well, not all have been movies but the two that stick out most are The Graduate and 500 Days of Summer. If you have not seen either of these, I highly recommend doing so.

In many aspects, I can relate to these two movies in two different completely ways. I think that is what is so beautiful and wonderful about art; any form of art. It is a medium that can touch people on an emotional level, which can influence us on our thoughts, actions and decisions. Although I am big on the effect of "words", there are so many other little details that can be so moving - just a random screen shot in a movie can have a definite effect on someone. Or a certain "look" on a person's face can quickly flicker something inside of a person. Just think about one of your most cherished movie moments. Now picture that moment without that one song that was playing while that moment happened. Would it be the same? Would it have the same movement on you? For me, no.. I like the obvious things in pieces of art, but I get excited and my eyes light up when I discover the tiniest aspect in that piece. It makes me realize that sometimes the smallest things in life really can have the biggest impact.

So I thought I would share two aspects in these movies that moved me.

Quote from 500 Days of Summer: “Tom walked to her apartment, intoxicated by the promise of the evening. He believed that this time, his expectations would align with reality.”

The ending to The Graduate:

Obviously, this whole scene is great, but the very ending where they sit next to each other, not saying a word, smiling, but also looking somewhat scared and nervous.. perfect.

2010-01-05T20:07:00.001-06:00

I really have not given much time to my blog. For that, I am sorry. I have been busy with many things and sometimes the small things in life must step to the side for a bit. So many things have happened lately, and I figured this would be a good time for me to write. I actually thought about what I write on this blog, and I must say some entries have been pretty personal – of course in a secretive/hiding behind words way. I contemplated on if I should be open on such a medium, and I have decided that it has become somewhat therapeutic and healthy. I also thought about what helps me most when I am in a difficult point in my life, and it is the words of others. I am not one to give advice or a great writer, but sometimes it is the most common pieces of writing that that one certain person relates to. Words can lift spirits, open souls and guide others into the direction they have been looking for. I am not saying I am doing such a thing, but if there is a person out there that reads my blog and finds comfort within their life or inspiration, then I have contributed a little to this world. And I believe that is one of the reasons we are put on this Earth. So here it goes.

I am not quite sure where to begin. My feelings and emotions have completely surprised me these past two weeks. I have never felt this way in my life, and to be honest, it can be scary. The unexpected and unfamiliar things in life always make me a bit fearful. But the one thing I have come to find out is that not always being comfortable is the beauty of life. It makes you revaluate so many different aspects of your life, no matter if they are good or bad. It pushes you back a step or two or three, and if you are strong enough, makes you realize the bigger picture in which you must deal with. Usually, I do not want to deal with these little road blocks in life, but I do and hope for the best. This one was different though. Something made me feel content with laying everything on the line, and we all know that doing such a thing can be risky and terrifying. But by doing this, I am not only being honest with others, but I am being honest with myself. I usually am very talented at bypassing how I feel when it comes to certain situations; especially ones that I can tell might be hurtful or complex. It is a restless battle that usually turns out to be more emotionally draining than if I would have just stopped, cleared my head, and went forward with everything that needed to be said and done. This is the first time in my 21 years of life that I took the other route and did not bypass the situation.

So what made me change? Honestly, I am not quite positive. Maybe it was the other person in the situation, or maybe it was a little tough push from a great friend. All I know is that it was not an easy thing to do, but afterwards I felt this heavy lift off of my chest and peace in my soul. Like every other person in this world, I have been walked on, talked about and used. Sad but true, it is part of life. I believe God puts every person in your life for a reason we may never understand. It is comforting to find someone in this crazy world that is going through what you are.. or at least bits and pieces of your condition. Although the circumstances are not exactly alike, I believe there was a reason why I met this person. Something in my heart and soul tells me so. Even if they are never part of my life again, I will always be thankful for what they brought to mine in such a short period of time. It has truly opened up my eyes, and God knows I have been needing some of that.

2010-01-03T19:10:00.002-06:00

I like when I find meaningful words in a simple piece of work; surprising.

"You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."

- E.B. White; Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web"

2009-12-25T18:18:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas!

I have a lot to say/write, but I think I will save it for another day.
Hope your holidays are wonderful!

Oh, it's love!

2009-12-20T23:30:00.002-06:00

Marc Bernstein Triple Wrap Bracelet $80

Marc Jacobs Jennifer Bird Cage Bag $1,195

Joan Hornig Leaf Cuff $4,825

Hunter Festival Lace-Up Wellington Boots $225

Repurposed Dome Clock, Stopwatch $998

“People still tell me I’m fat, but when I look in the mirror, that’s not what I see.”

2009-12-19T23:54:00.003-06:00

The stunning Lara Stone
Interesting article on her weight struggle:
Hello, Gorgeous

2009-12-18T00:49:00.004-06:00

"All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

She has bangs and pigtails!

2009-12-17T20:42:00.000-06:00

My niece, Audrey.
Just the cutest little girl, ever.

2009-12-17T13:29:00.002-06:00

Oblivious:
unmindful; unconscious; unaware (usually fol. by of or to): She was oblivious of his admiration.

2009-12-16T22:36:00.000-06:00

I was with one of my favorite boys in this world last night.. Mark Monroe.
Those few hours made me so happy. He is precious.

Angel Court Jewelry

2009-12-15T01:50:00.000-06:00

Love the vintage rustic look.

2009-12-10T14:26:00.000-06:00

I'm officially done with Fall 09 Semester. Thank goodness!
It feels sooooo goood! It has been a stressful but great time.

It's a Wonderful Life.

2009-12-05T15:06:00.002-06:00

I simply cannot wait to lay on my couch by the Christmas tree, with the fire lit and watch my favorite Christmas movie with my favorite lady.. my mom.

Kris D'Amico Photography.

2009-12-04T16:27:00.003-06:00

Cabedge Happiness!

2009-12-03T13:14:00.003-06:00

Beautiful bed.

Amazing fireplace.

I'm actually in the process of doing this! Thank you, Dad.

Love the wall.

White tub with sliver legs, on a wood floor, with a chandelier .. perfect.

The bright color and size fits so well together.

(Source: White Trash Beautiful)

2009-12-01T01:14:00.001-06:00

I love winter nights.
It is Sarah's wonderful, cute house.. and she's not even in the picture.
Fail. Tonight was a good night. Girl time, I needed it.

2009-11-28T22:30:00.003-06:00

Someone asked me why my best friends are always boys, the other day.
And my response was that I've never been able to trust any of my girl friends.
And the sad thing is that this is completely true.

I have a few right now that I am beginning to think/realize that I can trust, and I hope that this is true.. only time will tell. But I know that my two best friends (who were/are girls) in my life, have completely taking advantage of me, lied to me, talked about me behind my back to MY friends and others, etc... and I simply cannot look past that.. I have been ignoring it lately but starting now, I am letting go of them.
I don't need people in my life who hurt me when all I have done is been there for them, listened to them cry, scream, and complain about many things.. and have been a person they could trust.

I'm over and done with them and honestly it hurts, but I know in the end it's for the best.
Friends or no friends, I have what means the most to me.. my family.

2009-11-26T12:53:00.005-06:00

Absolutely in love with Assad Mounser jewelry collection.
The thick necklaces with pops of colors here and there and different details all on one piece makes them so unique and eye catching.

Daul Kim

2009-11-25T16:20:00.002-06:00

Daul Kim was found dead in her apartment in Paris last Thursday. When I heard of this, I actually cried.. first of all, I love Kim. Second of all, once I read some of her blog, watched videos, etc it just became so surreal and upsetting. Her death is being treated as a suicide so far. She was only 20 years old.. So sad.

Happy 30th!

2009-11-24T16:20:00.000-06:00

They are precious.

Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova, and Helena Christensen in i-D Magazine

2009-11-24T12:10:00.002-06:00

Herzigova 36, Shiffer 39, and Christensen 40.. and they still got it.
Wow.

2009-11-19T23:00:00.002-06:00

So tonight was most definitely a Nashville highlight. My wonderful friend Sara took me to a Q&A with hip hop artist Drake at Ocean Way (amazing recording studio in a church, so beautiful). He was the most humble person I have ever heard speak, so adorable and oh so sexy, hilarious, and intelligent. I was completely surprised by the interview and how down to earth he was throughout the whole process. There were a few statements that he said that have been some of the best in any interviews I have seen yet. I thought I would share:

"You were raised Jewish, correct?"
"Ya, but very lightly.. I was like Diet Jewish"

"I actually never have told this story before, but I smoke marijuana for the first time before my audition for Degrassi. To say the least, I was really into it."

"Are you a gangsta killer?"
"Far from it actually. I wear knitted sweaters."

And then Drake did a hilarious impression of Lil Wayne. Everyone was laughing.

He also spoke about keeping the ones you care about most close with you while you make it to the top. He said he didn't want to have people appointed to him. He wanted to already trust the people he would be working with as well as let them have a chance at being successful because when you are successful with people you actually care about, it makes it much more enjoyable.

This interview has by far been the most interesting, intriguing, and enjoyable one I have attended here in Nashville.
Drake was a doll. He stole my heart.

Louise Goldin for Topshop

2009-11-18T23:59:00.001-06:00

2009-11-16T19:37:00.000-06:00

"In the end, what we regret most are the chances we never took."
- Frasier Crane

Current Obsession

2009-11-16T19:33:00.004-06:00

Polaroid Composites
Artist: Patrick Winfield

2009-11-12T16:06:00.000-06:00

Can't wait to see this beautiful face on November 20th on the new Twilight movie: New Moon.
YES.

Finally justice for Pressly.

2009-11-11T18:18:00.002-06:00

(CNN) -- After deliberating slightly more than two hours, a jury Wednesday found a man guilty of capital murder and other charges in the October 2008 death of Arkansas television anchor Anne Pressly, according to CNN affiliate KARK-TV.

Curtis Lavelle Vance, 29, was convicted of capital murder, residential burglary, rape and theft of property, the station reported. A sentencing phase will determine whether he receives life in prison or the death penalty.

Pressly, 26, the morning news anchor for Little Rock, Arkansas, television station and CNN affiliate KATV, was found badly beaten and unconscious in her home. She died five days later.

"Today was justice for Anne," David Bazzel, a friend of Pressly, told KARK. "And it's taken a year to get to it, and I know nobody's more grateful than the parents and all of us as friends."

He said the hardest part of the trial was having to listen to an account of the last moments of Pressly's life.

"The whole thing was surreal for me," he said. "This was not 'CSI.' This was not a movie. This was our friend that had to go through horrible last minutes of her life, and it's just hard to hear that and to think that anybody could do this to anybody."

He said of Vance, "What he did to her, the death penalty is not enough for him."

Vance had pleaded not guilty to charges in Pressly's death. He was linked to the killing through DNA, however, and police said at the time of his arrest last year they were "110 percent" sure he was guilty.

Vance had given several statements to police, including one saying he was at Pressly's home and another admitting to her murder. Defense attorney Steve Morley told CNN affiliate WREG as Vance's trial began earlier this month that such evidence presented an obstacle for the defense, but said he hoped jurors could be persuaded to spare his client's life.

KARK reported that jurors heard recordings in which Vance apparently confessed to beating Pressly with a piece of wood

Pressley's mother, Patti Cannady, told NBC last year her daughter fought hard for her life, breaking her left hand in the process.

"I found my daughter beyond recognition, with every bone in her face broken, her nose broken, her jaw pulverized so badly that the bone had come out of it," Cannady said. "I actually thought that her throat had possibly been cut. Her entire skull had numerous fractures from which she suffered a massive stroke."

Prosecutors and the defense rested their cases Tuesday after jurors heard testimony from a medical examiner describing the beating that led to Pressly's death, KARK said.

Vance showed little reaction as the verdict was read, but Pressly's mother and relatives sobbed and embraced, KARK reporter Pete Thompson said.

DNA evidence has also tied Vance to a rape in April 2008 in Marianna, Arkansas, about 90 miles east of Little Rock, police said in December.

Lt. Terry Hastings, spokesman for Little Rock police, has said investigators found no link between Pressly and Vance, and they do not believe Pressly's being on TV had anything to do with the killing.

"I think he saw her someplace, probably followed her home with intention of robbing her. And then went from there," he said.

The killer also took Pressly's purse, Hastings said.

May her soul rest in peace, and her family and friends heal with time. So sad.

Simon's Birthday Night.

2009-11-11T01:44:00.001-06:00

Happy Happy Birthday!

Oh gold and sparkles, Perfection!

2009-11-09T19:20:00.002-06:00

Love in a heel.

Photo of the week, month, year?

2009-11-07T17:39:00.001-06:00

Yankees player Alex Rodriguez paying homage to Jay-Z by throwing up the triangle, symbol of Roc-a-fella imprint.
YES.

2009-11-05T17:27:00.002-06:00

These pictures do not give my gold sparkle trees justice.
I absolutely LOVE them. Thanks to the most beautiful, sweetest, amazing mother.. ever.
Love you beyond and above!

2009-11-05T11:48:00.004-06:00

The Album in my life for the past week: Julian Casablanca (The Strokes lead singer, if you don't know).
So good. If you haven't heard it, I advise you to go do so. You won't be disappointed.

2009-11-04T22:02:00.003-06:00

A friend told me to watch this runway show a couple of months ago, and I could not believe my eyes. One of the most interesting, intrigue runway shows I have ever seen. Not surprising, considering it is Alexander McQueen.. and those shoes, I die for. Wow.

They are in two different videos because of the length, but it is totally worth it. If you want to watch it as one whole video click here.

Video 1:

Video 2:

2009-11-03T00:32:00.001-06:00

"Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness."
- Ayn Rand

Freedom.

2009-11-02T12:24:00.001-06:00

2009-11-01T21:34:00.000-06:00

Best part of Event Planning this past week: Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes.
Yum. And yes, I totally sat in class and took pictures on my computer of the greatness.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T13:16:00.001-05:00

Quite the picture and story.

2009-10-30T11:09:00.004-05:00

The November issue of National Geographic magazine features a moving photographof chimpanzees watching as one of their own is wheeled to her burial. Since it was published, the picture and story have gone viral, turning up on websites and TV shows and in newspapers around the world. For readers who’d like to know more, here’s what I learned when I interviewed the photographer, Monica Szczupider.

On September 23, 2008, Dorothy, a female chimpanzee in her late 40s, died of congestive heart failure. A maternal and beloved figure, Dorothy had spent eight years at Cameroon’s Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center, which houses and rehabilitates chimps victimized by habitat loss and the illegal African bushmeat trade.

After a hunter killed her mother, Dorothy was sold as a “mascot” to an amusement park in Cameroon. For the next 25 years she was tethered to the ground by a chain around her neck, taunted, teased, and taught to drink beer and smoke cigarettes for sport. In May 2000 Dorothy—obese from poor diet and lack of exercise—was rescued and relocated along with ten other primates. As her health improved, her deep kindness surfaced. She mothered an orphaned chimp named Bouboule and became a close friend to many others, including Jacky, the group’s alpha male, and Nama, another amusement-park refugee.

Szczupider, who had been a volunteer at the center, told me: “Her presence, and loss, was palpable, and resonated throughout the group. The management at Sanaga-Yong opted to let Dorothy's chimpanzee family witness her burial, so that perhaps they would understand, in their own capacity, that Dorothy would not return. Some chimps displayed aggression while others barked in frustration. But perhaps the most stunning reaction was a recurring, almost tangible silence. If one knows chimpanzees, then one knows that [they] are not [usually] silent creatures."

Sanaga-Yong was founded in 1999 by veterinarian Sheri Speede (pictured at right, cradling Dorothy’s head; at left is center employee Assou Felix). Operated by IDA-Africa, an NGO, it’s home to 62 chimps who reside in spacious, forested enclosures.

Szczupider submitted the photograph to Your Shot, a magazine feature that encourages readers to send in pictures they've taken. The best are published on the website and in the magazine.

—Jeremy Berlin

2009-10-28T15:06:00.000-05:00

Obsessed with my new, huge coffee mugs.
Thanks to the best momma, ever!

2009-10-27T23:01:00.000-05:00

My brother just called me 'Little Wing' over the phone.
That comment made me so happy.
He is amazing. I love and miss him so much.

2009-10-26T23:45:00.001-05:00

I was so surprised when I saw this strange piece of work.
Why?
Because if you know me well, you know that this fits me perfectly. Those are two things I'm crazy about: Birds & Cupcakes, yes those two things I love.

Mom - I thought you would find this entertaining. Love.

2009-10-24T19:30:00.003-05:00

Do you ever feel like you are going in the wrong direction?
I do.

Something is missing.

Life is amazing, tragic, beautiful, and confusing.

Stella McCartney for GapKids

2009-10-22T13:07:00.003-05:00

McCartney will debut her line for GapKids on November 1st in the United States, Canada, France, United Kingdom, Japan, and Ireland.
How cute and actually fashionable are these clothes for kids?! I am in love. I want to dress my little niece, Audrey in these clothes. They are precious.

Another neat aspect about this line is that McCartney found all of her GapKids models on Facebook.
She must have not seen Audrey. :)

Crushing on Sequin Jackets.

2009-10-21T13:40:00.003-05:00

Antik Batik - Walice Sequin-Embellished Jacket

$460

Willow - Sequined Silk Jacket

$1535

3.1 Phillip Lim - Sequin Embellished Frock Coat

$1500

Sonia Rykiel - Sequined Blazer

$1515

Les Chiffoniers - Sequin Sprayed Jacket

$755

Paul & Joe - Twilight Sequin Jacket

$940

Jessica Stam

2009-10-20T22:01:00.002-05:00

2009-10-19T15:34:00.002-05:00

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
E.E. Cummings

2009-10-09T13:29:00.001-05:00

Favorite vintage buy.. yet. I'm in love with the dress.
Thank you Fanny's in East Nashville. You continue to amaze me.

2009-10-08T15:13:00.002-05:00

Okay, so if you know me.. you know I've never been a John Mayer fan. I always thought he wanted to be too much like Mr. Dave Matthews, and I am a big time Dave lover. But recently, a new friend, made me listen to some of his songs.. and I must admit, Mayer can play guitar, and his voice isn't that bad. So now I guess you can say I've be converted to being a Mayer fan. Shit.

This is my favorite Mayer song so far. Unless you want to hear him play the guitar.. and play it well, skip forward to the 4min mark to hear the song.

2009-10-06T15:19:00.001-05:00

On the street.. NYC

I love these men shoes with the jeans.. perfect.

Image via The Sartorialist

2009-10-05T21:50:00.001-05:00

"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile."
- William Cullen Bryant

2009-10-04T19:43:00.000-05:00

2009-10-03T14:11:00.002-05:00

Bedtime with Courtney

Oh, so happy these two are with me this weekend.

2009-10-02T15:25:00.000-05:00

She is finally here. I'm happy.

2009-10-01T16:31:00.012-05:00

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
- Mark Twain

On the Street.. NYC

On the Street.. Paris

On the Street.. NYC

At Spurr

On the Street.. NYC

On the Street.. Somerset House, London

On the Street.. London

On the Street, Milano

On the Street... Ralph Lauren, NYC

At Jonathan Saunders, London

Images via The Sartorialist

2009-09-30T20:27:00.000-05:00

Current Obsession: Orange Nail Polish. So Fall.

2009-09-30T19:11:00.000-05:00

Gorgeous.
I want them so badly.

2009-09-30T16:28:00.001-05:00

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep sea and the music in its roar;
I love not man the less, but Nature more."
- Lord Byron

2009-09-29T17:19:00.000-05:00

Studded leather dress, Balmain, price upon request.
Amazing.

2009-09-29T16:51:00.000-05:00

2009-09-18T20:44:00.002-05:00

I am so blessed in life, and I have not been this happy in quite some time. I feel that things are going well, and I am enjoying what I am doing.. But I miss my family. Especially these five people. Sometimes I wish I was still 5,13,17 .. and just at home with all of them and Auggie, of course. Isn't it funny that the things that annoyed you sometimes when you were younger, are the things you now miss the most?
I miss having to be at the dinner table every night. I miss having to drink milk with dinner before I could drink anything else. I miss waking up at 2am every morning, going downstairs, laying on the couch with my mom, and having her tickle me to sleep. I miss my dad's beyond loud sneezes and big, tight bear hugs. I miss my brothers being annoying little buttheads to me, and then standing up for me five minutes later. I miss my sister always giving me advice.
I miss home.

Oh, and when I have children.. they will have to be at the dinner table every night, and they will have to drink milk before they can drink anything else. I used to hate that, but now that I don't have that in my life anymore.. I realize how much those moments meant to me.

2009-09-17T19:25:00.003-05:00

Do you ever have certain moments in life where further down the road, you question why you thought such things during that moment? Well, I do. Why? I will be the first to admit that I am simply human. I am not perfect, I am not always kind, and I am not always right. I feel that many people have a hard time admitting that they have done wrong, or cannot admit that they (everyone) sometimes can just not be that kind. That is how we work as human beings. There is no denying it.

I do believe that most of the time I am nonjudgmental and very kind to others, but the few times where I look at someone and think thoughts I should not, or act differently towards them because of certain reasons.. I am ashamed. I know I will always pass some judgment on others because that is just how the process goes, but I need to look past the judgment and try to know the person before assuming such things.

So, you may wonder why I am writing about this.. Well, today I had (as, my professor Dr. Syb would say) an "ah ha moment".

Situation: In one of my classes, there is this boy who sits in front of me. Since the first day of that class, I always thought to myself that he was awkward, weird, and strange. Why? Well, first off he looks like he is twelve, sometimes wears very strange outfits (as do I), and acts differently than most people I come in contact with. He always walks into the classroom with this strange smile on his face. He laughs really awkwardly and shakes. He also speaks with this shake and weirdness.

Today I was driving along Wedgewood, listening to "Ragged Wood' by Fleet Foxes, with my windows down.It was perfect. Beautiful overcast afternoon, with the cool breeze brushing over my face while I drove down the street. I was so content in that moment.

I was stopped at a stop light, when I looked to the right, and there was the little boy. He was standing there with a group of people, smiling. The whole group was speaking to each other except him. He was just standing there observing and smiling. He looked so happy in this moment. And then they all started to slowly run, and he continued to keep the biggest smile on his face. He stuck out his right arm and held it out like you would in a car with the windows down so he could feel the cool breeze on his hand.. and he continued to smile, smile big, very big. Then suddenly the boy closed his eyes, with his arm still out to the right, and continued to run and smile.

I watched him until he was out of my sight. After he was gone, I started to smile, then it turned into a laugh, then it turned into me laughing while tears where coming down my face. In this moment, I was not sad.. I was moved. It was possibly one of the strangest feelings I have experienced in a while.

This boy may be little, awkward, weird, and different.. but I could see happiness in him. I thought the awkward smiles and shakey speaking were all just strange, but in all reality.. that is who he is. And in that moment, he was content and completely comfortable with his life. That awkward smile that I once judged, brought tears to my eyes because it was real. Now that may sound cliche, but I do not really care. I know what I saw, and I know how it made me feel.

This boy most likely was the kid in middle school and high school that everyone thought was disusting and picked on, but he is happy. And I am sure that most of the people who thought he was the dork or just the weird kid, are not near as happy as he is.

I judged him in a wrong way. Yes, he may not be the coolest looking person at Belmont.. and he may have different ways, but something about him is radiant. When I want to know how someone is feeling, I don't ask them.. I look at them. When I looked at him, all I saw was happiness and enjoyment.. something that most people do not have on a regular basis.

So what is the point to all of this? I have realized that I would rather be that happy, radiant boy who everyone thinks is weird and awkward, then to be the cool kid who really does not know happiness. Life goes by fast, find your happiness, no matter what it is, and hold onto it.

2009-09-06T22:16:00.001-05:00

Picture overload, I know.. and I'm sorry. So much has been going on lately. Anyways, last night was fun and wonderful. Actually, this whole weekend has been lovely. We (Jeff, Me, Quinn, Benny, and Jeff's parents & aunts) went to the Art Crawl last night in Nashville. So amazing.. the art galleries downtown open up from 7-9 and serve free wine, perfect! My parents should have been here! Afterwards, we went to 12th and Porter, like every Saturday, and it was actually pretty fun. I saw so many people that I haven't seen in forever. One, who is in the picture with me, James.. He is a great guy.. and I have missed him, so that was nice. Then I finally got a good nights rest.. It was much needed. Now, time to go hang out with some of my favorite Nashville friends.
Hope everyone is well and happy!

2009-09-06T14:41:00.004-05:00

To say the least, Friday night was fun fun fun and a bit crazy. My good friend Jake (the one with me in the photos) came to Nashville to play a show at Rocketown. A few of the other boys in the band he plays in are also friends of mine who I haven't seen in almost two years. It was so nice to see all of them. Oh, and I had my partner in crime (when it comes to going to shows like these) Sara with me.
Since they were playing at Rocketown (no alcohol there) before the show we all went to Rusan's and did sake bombs. I felt like it was a celebration of some sort because the waiter was screaming - SAKE SAKE SAKE - and hitting the table. I couldn't stop laughing.
After the show, Sara, Me, and the boys went to a honky tonk bar downtown and stayed there until it closed.. actually until they kicked us out. It was a long, fun, crazy night.. full of old friends.
Here are some photos:

I love this photo of Shane and Sara.. hilarious. She is going to hate me for putting this up.

2009-09-04T17:13:00.002-05:00

My first "back to blogger.com" entry! So exciting.
Okay, this past weekend was amazing. My brother, Zachary (tall, handsome man on the right) came to visit me in Nashville for the very first time! I was beyond happy and excited. We had so much fun. These photos are from Friday night when Zach, Karla, and me went to Happy Valley.
I cherish any time I get to spend with my family because they are the people who matter most in my life. So this past weekend was precious time. Plus, Zachy is my best friend. He has been one of the few people in my life that has constantly been there for me and never has judged me on the good or the bad that I have been through, which makes me so thankful to have a brother with such a kind and beautiful soul. I admire him more than he'll ever know, and I am so proud of him and what he has become in his life.

2009-08-23T14:02:00.000-05:00

Tumblr was shabby sheek and neat, but I miss this blog. Looks like I'm coming back..

2009-08-11T13:05:00.008-05:00

Well, if you know me.. you know I love change, a lot.
So folks I have decided to switch blogs.
If you decide to still read/look/laugh/scream at my somewhat pointless entries, then please direct yourself to:

dayshamcgrath.tumblr.com

Mom - Thanks for being my biggest blog fan! I love you.

2009-08-09T12:10:00.001-05:00

It's a Marvin Gaye type of day.
(yeah, that rhymed)

2009-08-05T11:12:00.003-05:00

Cannon Beach, Oregon

"There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep sea and the music in its roar;
I love not man the less, but Nature more."
- Lord Byron

2009-07-26T22:59:00.003-05:00

"We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact."
- Jean-Paul Sartre

2009-07-23T22:20:00.001-05:00

"I don't like people who have never fallen or stumbled. Their virtue is lifeless and it isn't of much value. Life hasn't revealed its beauty to them."
- Boris Pasternak (Doctor Zhivago)

2009-07-23T17:11:00.002-05:00

I think Audrey might be a musician one day..

(Uncle Ashley & Grandpa Larry)

2009-07-22T16:06:00.002-05:00

Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stall me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned deep to dust

Once I wanted to be the greatest
Two fists of solid rock
With brains that could explain any feeling

2009-07-21T16:55:00.002-05:00

I wanna live life and never be cruel.
I wanna live life and be good to you.

And I wanna fly and never come down.
And live my life and have friends around.

We never change, do we? no, no
We never learn, do we?

So I wanna live in a wooden house.
where making more friends would be easy.

Oh, and I don't have a soul to save.
Yes, and I sin every single day.

I wanna live where the sun comes out..