Friday, January 16, 2009

Sometimes you have to step back and take a look at what life is becoming. I forget to do this. At times, life can be difficult.. we all know this. But when you take that step back, you should look at what life has given you thus far. Although there might be some things/situations in your past that you might want to forget because you regret them, you shouldn't. You should take these hard times and learn from them.

I'll be the first to admit that I haven't been good at this process. It has taken me about 3 years to understand this and how to go about it. There have been events in my life that I never imagined I would have done or been through. I look back to one point of my life, and it upsets me what kind of person I was during that period. I can honestly say that I am not proud of that time in my life.. and I never want to say that again. I won't allow myself to become someone I know I will not be proud of. You should be proud of the person you are.

If it was not for my family, close friends and one life changing moment, I don't know if I would have changed. I hope I would have, but you never really know. It took a situation that completely broke my heart to make me realize what I needed to change in my life. The hardest part about it, is that I can never change that happening.. no one can. I think about it every day. It hurts, and I know it most likely always will.

But I'm in a different chapter of my life. I still have difficult moments in my life, trust me. But going through this realization of myself and change, has only made me stronger. I still faultier. The only difference is that now I realize that these moments of hardships have part in making you into the person you are meant to be. And that is completely up to you. Don't think you are shaped only by other people and your experiences. You are shaped by you. You have control over what you become and who you become. That's why taking some steps back and looking at what you are right in that moment, or what you are becoming.. can only help you or save you.

I know it did for me.

Text ColorFirst off, I am in lovvve with my new 70s lights that I bought at this little shop in Eureka Springs over the break. They are kind of hard to see, but they are tan, gold, and dark brown. Such a great find.

On another note, it is amazingly cold today. I had to walk to class today at 8:40am. I covered my whole body up, except my face.. and once I got to class, it felt as if it was about to fall off. I am in love with my new hat.. someone told me today that I looked like a French citizen. I loved how they used the word 'citizen'. Anyways, to say the least it was a painful walk today but beautiful, as always.

Wednesday I went to a show with my good friends Jake and Sarah. I knew the show would be good because one of my favorite Nashville bands and bands in general were playing. But the show was better then good.. Possibly one of the best shows I've seen since living in Nashville. It consisted of Sonny Moore, Innerpartysystem, and Paper Route. Paper Route was of course, amazing..

I suggest checking out Paper Route.
Also, Andrew Bird.

Those two acts are what I am currently listening too. They put me in the cold weather/winter mood. Give them a listen.

Until next time, Ciao.


Mark Samuel Monroe said...

Andrew Bird, is always a good listen.
But to your story, I think I have gone through the same thing. Yet, it was my Brazil trip that helped open my eyes to these things. I too, would be ashamed of some of the things I did in the past, but instead of neglecting them from my memory, I need to embrace them. Thanks for helping me realize this. I would call you right now, but my phone is dead and my charger is in NLR. I have been without a phone for the past two days. Not fun. ;[

Anyway, I am hoping to get home tonight so that I can go watch Miles' game against NLR, my high school. He goes to Cabot now, and it suppose to be a big home game for him. So, just pray that I make it there!

Love you so much!

sarah brooks said...

dont you mean that your favorite band is nite nite. jk jk lolz. but we are playing at the end thursday. you should come.